Carnival Cruise Entertainment

Carnival Entertainment

How Will You Spend Your Evenings?
It's up to you.
Carnival ships boast some of the largest showrooms and best entertainment at sea. If you want excitement, you'll find it everywhere. There are lounges, bars and clubs to suit every taste.

During your cruise, no two shows are the same. So when the curtain goes up on one or our lavish Las Vegas-style extravaganzas, you'll want to be there. Later, stop in at the dance bar or meet new-found friends at the sing-a-long piano bar.

The overwhelming positive response from
our guests was instrumental in encouraging
us to add Las Vegas-style revues to the
entertainment programs of all of our
"Fun Ship"® SuperLiners.

Other options in entertainment include a wide variety of singers, comedians, bands and musicians performing either out on deck or in one of the many clubs and lounges.

Making the most of the most
memorable vacation of your life.

Some guests love rock. Some love
country. Some only want to hear the classics. On Carnival you'll have
no problem finding the kind of music
you love best.

Carnival is the cruise for you, no matter what type of music you love, your sure to find the one thing you love most: fun

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COMEDY CLUB

Carnival has some of the best comedians you can find.

Here are some actual questions,stories & jokes from some of the ships.

Passenger asked the cruise director - Does the crew sleep onboard?

Passenger aboard Carnival's Fantasy asked a waiter in the dining room - What time is the midnight buffet?

True Story

Several years ago an elderly couple were getting ready for bed on the last night of their cruise and the gentleman was in the shower and his wife shouted to him, " Henry don't forget to pack a change of clothes in your carry-on bag so that you have something to wear in the morning. Also put our luggage in the hall before you go to bed."
( For those of you who have not cruised before, you must put your luggage outside your door on the last night of the cruise. )

Henry rarely listened to her nagging and shouted back " yeah yeah yeah!" He saw the luggage when he came out and threw it outside and went to bed.

The next morning he got up and asked his wife where his shirt and pants were? She answered, " I hope you remembered to put them in you carry-on bag!"

Don't worry, this story has a nice ending. They were able to get off the ship okay and were just stopped briefly by customs officials when they asked Henry why he was wearing a dress?

This 75 year old woman had a vision one night, she saw and spoke to God. She asked him, "how much time do I have to live." He said, "you have 35 years left."
So that whole year she had a ton of cosmetic surgery, she had a face lift, a tummy tuck, her nose reshaped, liposuction, she completely did herself over. She figured as long as she was going to live another 35 years she was going to look young again. After all this was done, that same year she was hit by a car and was killed instantly. When she entered St. Peter's gate she walked over to God and said, "What happened? I thought you said I had another 35 years."
God replied, "I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU"

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for his yearly physical and afterwards the doctor said " George", except for your bad eyesight, you are in perfect health. How do feel mentally? George replied he felt really great because he had this special relationship with God!

"Every night when I get up to go pee, God turns the light on for me and when I am finished, he turns it off " The doctor said are you sure?

George said every night! The next day the doctor called George's wife and related the story.

His wife responded : " That idiot has been peeing in the refrigerator " !

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door."

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